for makayla [ @zosefina​ ] for the aftg summer exchange! the request was

andrew is an ice cream truck driver and always drives by where he normally sees neil with the music blaring because he wants to see him and also neil said he hates the ice cream truck music

hope i did it justice! headcanons below:

• In this universe of mine, Andrew and Neil never met - it’s like a soft universe, okay? So Neil is just a random hot dude who always jogs a specific path
  
• Andrew got rich somehow and therefore can live his dreams
  
• So Andrew decides one day… fuck it, I’m buying a fucking ice cream truck and living my secret dream of just existing in a constant state of consuming sugar
  
• He buys himself not one truck… no that would be easy
  
• No Andrew buys himself more than one ice cream truck, because why not, right?
  
• And eventually he starts driving them round. Just the traditional Mr. Softie song. If you don’t know it, please put this on for ambiance as you look at this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzodaDCD798
  
• And Andrew gets the permits he needs and figures out a route
  
• Aaron: “Why the fuck would you, Andrew Minyard, do something that involves children?”
  
• Andrew, lighting up a cigarette: “Excuse me I’m a wonderful fucking role model.”
  
• Aaron, smacking the cig out of Andrew’s mouth: “I think that’s illegal.”
  
• Anyway
  
• Andrew. Path. Driving his obnoxious ice cream truck that blares music while eating probably 50% of his merchandise because he did this to fulfill his addiction, goddammit
  
• So… Andrew. Path. He notices this really hot guy tends to run along a similar path. Hard not to notice this really hot guy, as the truck inexplicably seems to cross his path multiple times
  
• Andrew notices the guy looking at the truck in annoyance from time to time but assumes it’s just because his stopping to give out ice cream often gets in the guy’s way
  
• But Andrew might start doing that strategically
  
• Adjusts his path a little, ya know?
  
• Because come on, the guy is hot
  
• Until one day… Mr. Hot Runner marches his ass right up to the ice cream truck
  
• Andrew: “Buying something?”
  
• (Cute little smirk slips out oops)
  
• Neil, having a bad day: “LISTEN HERE. Ice cream truck music is remarkably annoying and I swear this Mr. Softie is stalking me. And I would like ONE DAY. Just one. Without seeing this truck.”
  
• Andrew: “That can be arranged”
  
• Neil, on the other hand, his experience has been this:
  
• Running a nice path through the neighborhood. The route is memorized so he can just dissociate. Listen to music. Work out. Swerve around people, sure, but he doesn’t need to be aware
  
• Until, out of nowhere, there are just… swarms of children on his path
  
• And the sound of a Mr. Softie ice cream truck cutting into his music. Not even headphones can drown out the ever-annoying Mr. Softie thing
  
• (Need I remind you? Since you insisted: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzodaDCD798)
  
• At first, Neil thinks nothing of it. Even adjusts when he’s running.
  
• But
  
• It
  
• Just
  
• Won’t
  
• Quit
  
• So, like any rational person would do, he decides to confront the situation
  
• It’s been a bad day. Coffee spilled, cigarette wouldn’t light, rock in his shoe while he was running. And now the ice cream truck AGAIN.
  
• Neil marches right up to the truck and waits for the children to clear out
  
• Except
  
• Oh no
  
• The cutest blonde smirks down at him, dressed in all black and reeking like cigarettes
  
• But Neil persists. Gives him a piece of his mind.
  
• And, oddly, the guy promises to change his route?
  
• (That’s what Neil hears. What Andrew says is “That can be arranged” in reply to not seeing that specific ice cream truck)
  
• And then the guy gives him this weird black ice cream? Neil is hesitant to eat it and stares at it as the guy drives off.
  
• Eventually, he begrudgingly walks home and eats the ice cream. It’s shockingly good
  
• So, Andrew, as mentioned before… He has more than one ice cream truck.
  
• The next day, he makes sure to drive right past the cute running man
  
• Blasting the ice cream theme
  
• Just… not out of the old truck.
  
• Neil? Is not amused
  
• Marches right back up to the truck
  
• Neil: “Hey uh what? You said no more?”
  
• Andrew: “Welcome to truck number two. What I said was that you wouldn’t have to see the Mr. Softie today.”
  
• Neil: “Yes okay but. I hate the ice cream truck music. I hate my path being interrupted. It wasn’t the specific truck it was the entire concept of this.”
  
• Andrew: “Man, that sucks. Have these rainbow ice cream cones that I made. They’re neat.”
  
• Every day, Andrew just exchanges the ice cream truck.
  
• Every day, the music is taken up just one notch
  
• Every day, Neil stops to complain
  
• He eventually comes to the conclusion that Andrew is the worst ever ice cream man
  
• Shouldn’t be allowed to sell ice cream
  
• Smells like cigarettes (like Neil’s one to talk) and cusses way too much
  
• Neil’s convinced he heard Andrew say fuck in front of at least one child
  
• At least one
  
• But the music just keeps getting louder. Andrew just keep switching out trucks. Black ice cream, rainbow cones (subtle Andrew), and loud loud music
  
• Until, one day, Neil realizes it doesn’t actually bother him
  
• It’s become performative, really, the complaining
  
• Maybe he just wants to see Andrew’s face
  
• Maybe it’s not his fault when he somehow leaves his phone on the sill of the truck
  
• So Andrew has to hunt him down
  
• Maybe it’s not his fault at all when he kisses Andrew
  
• Neil: “I still hate the ice cream truck music”
  
• Andrew: “Oh I bet you do. I bet you do…”
  
• You know how many times most people can say they made out while the ice cream truck song blared? Probably zero.
  
• Neil… Totally hates the song but also can say he’s definitely made out more than once while the ice cream truck song blared
  
• He can also confirm his initial suspicion is right: Andrew is definitely the worst possible role model for small kids
  
• And says fuck in front of at least three children a day
  
• But the ice cream he sells is so cool, no one seems to mind
  
• Plus, he’s a phenomenal kisser, Neil supposes
  
• If only it hadn’t made the ice cream song sexy…