fuzzballsheltiepants:

In honor of @ziegenkind‘s amazing piece of art and the fantastic discourse surrounding it that I’ve been laughing about for the past day.  Hope you enjoy.

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“Damnit!”  Allison stormed into the room and flung something in Dan’s general direction.  Aaron gritted his teeth and curled further over his textbook.  This was why he always studied at Katelyn’s.  Fuck her roommate for having a birthday.

“What’s wrong?” Renee asked mildly.  

“It doesn’t fit!”

Out of the corner of his eye, Aaron saw Dan hold up a black piece of fabric.  Her eyes went wide as she looked at it.  “Were you actually planning on wearing this?”

Allison perched on the arm of the couch.  “You know my parents are coming for graduation.”  Everybody nodded.  “I wanted to see if I could actually make my mother faint if I pretended like I was going to wear it.  But it’s too wide and too short.”  She sighed.  “No wonder it was on clearance.”

It was quiet for a moment and Aaron breathed a sigh of relief and turned back to his biochem.  Then:  “Maybe Andrew would wear it,” Matt said in a strangled voice.  “What?” he asked, grinning, when everybody turned to look at him.  “It’s black.”

Aaron swiveled in his chair and looked at the shirt.  It was, in fact, black.  It was also unmistakably a woman’s shirt.  And there was a gap in the fabric strategically placed across the chest.  He turned back to his homework, muttering, “He’d wear it.”

Not surprisingly, everybody ignored him.  Nicky scoffed.  “Maybe if Neil asked him, but no way he’d wear it on his own.”

“We could get Neil to ask him…” Dan said thoughtfully.

“No way,” Allison said, “the best part would be seeing Neil’s reaction.  But it’s a moot point, Andrew would never wear a woman’s shirt.  He’s not Nicky.”

“Hey!” Nicky protested.  Everyone looked at him and he thought for a second before acquiescing.  “Fair enough.”

Aaron sighed and spoke up louder.  “He’d wear it.”

He was starting to wonder if he was both mute and invisible when everyone kept arguing as if he hadn’t spoken.  Only Renee gave him a smile.  “Okay okay okay,” Nicky said after a few more migraine-inducing moments.  “What’s the pot?”

They all placed their bets.  Renee sided with Aaron; Nicky, Allison, Dan and a reluctant Matt all bet against it.  “We getting Kevin in on this?” Nicky asked.

“He’s with Neil right now, we can’t ask him,” Dan said.  “Now who’s going to give the shirt to Andrew?”

Aaron got up and snatched the shirt off the couch.  Going next door, he knocked, then knocked again.  Andrew opened the door eventually and Aaron pushed past him into the room.  “The assholes are betting you won’t wear this,” he said, tossing the shirt at Andrew.  He snatched it out of the air and studied it.  “They think your masculinity is too fragile, or whatever.”

Andrew’s face didn’t change, but Aaron saw the faint gleam in his eyes as he folded the shirt and tucked it under his arm.  Aaron turned to go, pausing with his hand on the door handle.  “They’re all going to be watching when Neil and Kevin get back tonight.  They want to see Neil’s reaction.”

“You did not specify I had to wear it tonight,” was Andrew’s flat response.  Aaron let his mouth twitch up faintly, and the gleam in Andrew’s eyes intensified.

*****

Weeks went by, with no evidence of the shirt.  Aaron wondered if they should have set an end date on the bet.  When the Trojans eliminated them in the semifinals, he was pretty sure he’d lost.  Everyone else seemed to have forgotten altogether.

The morning after the loss, Wymack called them all in for a final meeting.  Neil and Kevin ended up piling in the back of Matt’s truck to ride over.  Matt sent them a questioning glance, but Neil just shrugged.  Useless boy toy.

They all headed into the lounge en masse, the freshmen in the lead.  When they stopped abruptly, the upperclassmen nearly piled into them.  “What the fuck?” Jack said.

Neil weaseled his way through the mass of bodies and ducked through the door.  Aaron saw his back go rigid and then relax before disappearing altogether.  Jack still hadn’t moved, but the other freshmen seemed to get their wits about them and dissipate to their usual spots.  Aaron ducked around Jack and finally saw what had the others in such a tizzy.  He turned around to Dan and Nicky behind him.  “You owe me,” he said, stepping out of the way so they could see.

Andrew was in his usual spot on the couch, one arm casually draped over the arm.  The black shirt stretched across his chest, exposing a strip of skin.  Neil stood, face slack, in front of him, oblivious to the rest of them now piling into the room.  Aaron elbowed him in the back on the way to his chair.

He had to admit it was as amusing as the others had been imagining, seeing Neil at a loss for words.  Andrew just looked up at him calmly, as if there was nothing out of the ordinary going on.  Finally, Neil found his voice.  “Where did you get that?” he asked, sinking down onto the couch between Andrew and a stoic-faced Kevin.

Andrew shrugged.  Wymack came into the lounge, hesitated for the tiniest fraction of a second on seeing what was lounging on his couch, shook his head, and started his standard end-of-the-year tirade.  It was virtually identical to the one from freshman year so Aaron tuned it out in favor of watching all his teammates staring at his brother.    The freshmen, aside from Jack and Sheena, looked torn between confusion and awe.  Nicky looked like he was going to piss himself with glee.  Dan, Matt, and Allison all looked reluctantly impressed.  Kevin seemed determined not to take his eyes off Wymack.  Renee’s control was slipping, letting a tiny bit of smugness through; Aaron found himself liking her better for it.  And Neil…

“Neil,” Wymack said.

“Yeah, Coach?” Neil answered, not taking his eyes off Andrew.

“Do you think you can stop staring at your boyfriend’s nipples for a minute?  I’m trying to introduce you as captain.”

Neil turned to Wymack, face flushing.  Andrew pinched his thigh in a gesture subtle enough Aaron doubted anyone else noticed.  Wymack finished his speech with a voice strained from leashed amusement, Neil said a few words that for once were neither vicious nor stupid, and the season was finally, officially, at an end.

Aaron walked out first, quickly followed by everyone else.  Kevin joined Aaron, Dan, and Matt at the truck.  Matt looked at him with a raised eyebrow.  

“I’ll ride back with you,” Kevin said.  “I think Neil and Andrew may be a while.”

Matt and Dan laughed, and Aaron silently vowed to never, ever sit on that couch again.